If I were CEO for a day…..

June 20, 2013

Oh, I am. But that’s just my little company so it doesn’t really count. But if I were CEO of a massive mega company then I’d love to try out a few ideas.

Top Ten Things I’d do if I were CEO

  1. Ban all meetings for a month. If you want to talk to people, get up and do it now. Don’t set a date for two weeks hence.
  2. When meetings are reintroduced have no chairs so no one can get too comfortable
  3. Insist that calendars can only be filled to a maximum of 50% of the time – that leaves time for actually doing work
  4. Insist that managers are visible and available on the ‘shop floor’ for 50% of their time
  5. Disable the reply to all button. If you want to copy everyone in, then you’re going to have to add their names manually.
  6. Ban hot desking so at least we can know where people are supposed to be
  7. Introduce ‘Godsends’ who do all the stuff required to oil the wheels and make things happen but always takes longer than you think. So it would be like having lots of shared PAs.
  8. Reintroduce the tea lady who will come round with refreshments’ twice a day and ensure all company gossip is spread between all the different departments
  9. Rip out all the horrible, noisy hot air hand driers and return to towels
  10. Ban eating al desco; insist everyone stops for lunch and sits at communal tables to chat and is given a free basic lunch (that also stops the annoying inequality of high level meetings getting free lunches, but lower echelons still having to buy their own even when asked to work over lunchtime)

Related rants on the pointlessness of meetings, and how to organsie them badly, corporate jargon, and general frustration with office life


6 Responses to “If I were CEO for a day…..”

  1. Tssr14 Says:

    Love it. Especially no 6 7 8. When do we start?

  2. Sarah N Says:

    Haha love it, especially number 8

  3. Kate Morgan Says:

    expand your own company into management consultancy (!)and do it with your own people (who are freelancers probably) and sell it to others as your USP for successful organisations!! Or find a company that would let you try it out. It would be great!

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