Fashion no-nos

February 5, 2013

Chatting at work the other morning and before I knew it my mouth was open and my feet headed straight for it. “Oh for fuck’s sake, you can’t possibly buy a fascinator. They are awful.”

Of course, hadn’t thought it through at all. Basing my opinions on my acute sartorial sense (lol) I was then asked to justify my outburst. Actually I do hate them. The little comb and feather combo. Not the striking statment ones that can look pretty awesome. But those twiddly little pathetic ones. I think they are generally chavvy or worn by frumpy women trying to look perky and failing. Anyone over 35 should be banned from even trying them on in shops.

But it set me thinking of my

Top Ten Personal Styling Hates

  1. Fascinators on anyone over 35
  2. Full length puffa jackets with elasticated belts
  3. Shiny or leather-look tight leggings
  4. Thongs (especially grubby) appearing above the trouser
  5. Tracksuit bottoms and high heels.
  6. Matchy matchy outfit. You know, same colour dress, jacket, shoes, hat, necklace, ear rings, lipstick……… so late 20th century it’s like wearing a sell- by date.
  7. Tights with holes in. Just skanky.
  8. Low hanging trousers or jeans on men. Only 15 year old black lads have a remote chance of carrying off that look. And even they struggle. The rest of you just look dirty.
  9. The double bosom effect of a bra with too small a cup.
  10. Bare legs that are so mottled from cold they look like chicken wire has been pressed against them

I know, I know I’ve had some atrocious outfits in my time. No doubt still do. Doesn’t stop me criticising others though!


8 Responses to “Fashion no-nos”

  1. Theresa Says:

    Christ I’m really worried about presenting myself to you for our theatre date on Friday and my thong was just about perfect in the grubby stakes!!!

  2. Anonymous Says:

    Skirts with splits at the rear – the perfect way to ruin good legs or draw attention to bad ones.

  3. Liz Says:

    Except for the cultural interpretations of “thongs” I agree!!but I would also add leggings with short tops on anyone that is not under 18 and tall and slender….

  4. Janet Says:

    I will be sporting all of these tomorrow evening – just to annoy you :o)

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