The power of positive thinking

November 3, 2012

It’s funny; when we  think about certain people we can get a warm glow and smile inside. A lovely feeling. Others ( hopefully not many!)  make one’s heart sink and feet heavy. The trouble is, once we have those views it’s difficult to shift them because everything they do simply reinforces what we already believe .

But in reality of course, that isn’t true. It’s just how we choose to interpret their actions. The same action from two people can be perceived in polar opposite ways. The person I like and believe likes me will be given every benefit of any doubt – hahaha calling me a bitch is a hilarious joke. I know she doesn’t mean it. But the person I have pigeon-holed as irritating? If she calls me a bitch it’s because she is irritating –  maybe trying to be funny and failing, or simply an irritating cow.

My friend re-telling a tedious story for the umpteenth time is forgiven and tolerated – we’ve all done it and she needs to get it off her chest. No such leeway for someone we already believe to be boring – this just confirms it.

It takes a real mental strength to make a conscious effort to be objective and weigh up the actions of others. Finding people ‘annoying’ , ‘uncaring’ ‘rude’ ‘selfish’ or whatever negative attribute you have labelled them with is depressing. Because it means you are surrounded by negativity. No one wants the company or rude, irritating, selfish uncaring gits.

But of course you can’t actually alter the way they behave.. Telling someone they are boring doesn’t mean they can suddenly change and be sparkling, witty and interesting. Telling them you find them cold and uncaring won’t turn them in to a warm fluffy love bundle. And it’s pretty likely to upset them!

The only thing you can change is your reaction to their behaviour. How you interpret it. Whether you let it get to you or not.

Some may say I live in a delusional bubble, but I choose to interpret things in the way that is least troublesome for me. I like to be happy.

Try this out on yourself – what kind of reaction are you likely to have? You see someone you know in a café but they don’t acknowledge you.

What do you think? “She ignored me, she doesn’t want to speak to me, she doesn’t like me.”  If you do, you’re likely to feel rejected, hurt and sad and go home and brood about it.

If, on the other hand you thought “ She looks a bit lost in herself, I hope everything’s OK” you are likely to feel concern for her and perhaps even go over to her  to check she is OK or perhaps text her later.

For me it’s a no brainer. Don’t anticipate the rejection. It is only going to make you feel worse and is certainly not going to make anyone feel better. And the chances are she simply didn’t notice you. Why would you assume the worst? Assume the best – it’s a nicer place to be!

Setting out with the mindset of  ‘This is going to be as boring as fuck’, makes one thing certain. It’s going to be as boring as fuck. Anticipating a bad time will give you a bad time. Anticipate it might be enjoyable and it’s way more likely to be.  Similarly if you interpret things negatively, then that negativity will eat away at you inside. Think positive. Believe people mean well. It’s a nicer world to be in. Even if it is a  fantasy.


3 Responses to “The power of positive thinking”

  1. […] So it will depend on what equity there is between you already. I’ve already blogged that Experience tells me that whatever happens tends to reinforce our pre-concevied ideas about that person, so you […]

  2. Victor Says:

    I’ll definitely try to react more positively to people this coming week. Hope it works out! 🙂

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