To my Mum from my Dad

August 10, 2012

A week before she died as we prepared to scatter my father’s ashes on the sea. She was in fine form.

classic 70s wedding outfits

This week was the first anniversary of our Mum’s death so I thought I”d mark it on here somehow.  I have already blogged about the top ten things I learnt from her (Things my mother taught me – posted in May), and she had a marvellous ability to make conversation. Not to mention a Lancastrian’s need to feed everybody who came to the door. So what I give you now is in fact the toast that Dad delivered to her on their 50th wedding anniversary. As always, it is  better in the telling, but it is a nice memory jogger for those of us who knew them both. Here’s to you mother, with love as ever.

Picture my father, standing, holding a sheet of paper, arms wide and waving.

“I’ve been married to Jose 50 years who’s been married  50 years to me. That looks like a 50/50 basis. But of course it is nothing like that…when looked at in serious depth. It is more like Richard 30% Jose 70%.

Take for instance the flats and houses we have lived in…I chose the depressing boarding house and flat we first lived in, and the Old House. That adds up to 30% but the rest where we were happiest were found by Jose: Caldwell Rd, East View, Weir Cottage and Cae Ceri and that’s about 70% of our time.As for the things that make a home that was certainly 70% by Jose….and 30% by me – made up of a few paintings and shelves. Shelves were always my main contribution and to this day Jose tells me that I am Shelf Centered.

I suppose that on an income level I have the greater percentage…but that against all Jose has done and does it is but still a 30% input on my part to our marriage. It has been for me a wonderful 50 years.

I have been and am the luckiest of men but even luckier yet on the joys of being married to Jose…. Looking back over 50 years I recollect just 5 harsh arguments, 7 rows and 14 disagreements most of which were slight. But of course the percentages change to 30% were Jose’s fault and 70% mine….

But it isn’t 30/70 percent basis in all we have done together. The production of two diamonds is essentially a 50/50 coordination, and together we brought about two sparkling diamonds…our delight and pleasure and pride….Kate and Sarah of such high quality and polish….Loving Jose was and is the best that life can bring and I and Jose are so pleased to be celebrating with you today.

We’ve been married fifty years

Each year for me a pleasure

So wasn’t I a lucky chap

To wed a golden treasure.

So Jose thanks for all this time

Each year high carat gold

I loved you in my days of youth (not quite)

I love you now I’m old (not quite)

All the cards I ever found

Were worded “Your” not “Ours”

So finally I chose a card like you

A pretty bunch of flowers.


Celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary in Venice


One Response to “To my Mum from my Dad”

  1. […] previous blogs about him are here, here  here and […]

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