I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can’t accept not trying

April 22, 2012

I have a love/hate relationship with fitness. I love being fit, but I hate the actual process of getting there. So it is that I have tried going to the gym to do treadmills, rowing machines etc but I ended up simply cheating and not doing very much at all as the slightest hint of pain or real effort and I’m out of there. Pathetic. I love partying  and dancing so when I found aerobics classes I suddenly realised this was going to be the closest way for me to get fit doing something I enjoyed. The nearest I get to clubbing at my age. Music makes a huge difference and can increase or decrease my energy levels, as can the instructor. It amazes me when doing pre-choreographed classes how different they can be when the instuctor changes yet the moves, the music and everything else stays the same. I enjoy the whole ‘team’ feeling of a class. I don’t want to be the one doing the least hence it makes me work harder. However, it will not surprise you to know I get pretty hacked off with people in class who put no bloody effort in at all. They are the fitness equivalent of ‘mood hoovers’ as they seem to suck the energy out of the room and negate the symbiotic principle of group exercise where together we are stronger and help each other do more.

Am just back from a class I really enjoyed despite the fact the instructor had no mike and the aircon was broken and the reason  for my pleasure was that the instructor still maintained really high energy and was able to cue the class using hand signals and moving round the room to ensure everyone still got a great workout. Quite inspirational watching her. I love seeing people at the top of their game, whatever their job is. Plus one of my classmates swapped places with me two thirds of the way through as the aircon where she was positioned actually came on and she thought I needed it more than her. How lovely was that? And it did make a huge difference to me as I boil like a beetroot even with aircon. People can be so kind.

Top Ten Tips to Make Yourself Popular at the Gym(or not)

  1. When using the equipment, do try to make as much noise as possible. Grunts and squeals are particularly welcomed by your fellow members
  2. Don’t wipe your sweat off any equipment so that the next person has the opportunity of doing  this as a pre-exercise warm up
  3. Do offer tips on technique to your fellow members, especially if you are completely unqualified
  4. Do not be inhibited to let your body function naturally while in the gym or studio. New odours can distract from the pain of the exercise routine.
  5. When attending classes do not arrive on time, but burst in late and move straight to your favourite spot even if someone else is already in it. In the unlikely event that the person does not immediately defer to your greater importance, stand your ground and make it impossible for them to exercise.
  6. If you do bump in to someone in class never ever admit that it was your fault or apologise, but glare furiously at them for being in the way.
  7. If you see tension between class participants or are involved yourself launch straight in with something like ‘There’s no ‘I’ in TEAM, but there’s a ‘U’ in C*NT’. This should effectively defuse the situation.
  8. If you are in the front of the class do try to distract the instructor and other participants by stopping frequently, checking your phone and taking water breaks. An alternative strategy is simply to put no effort in at all and dismiss the class as useless  at the end
  9. If the class is choreographed, simply ignore this and do your own thing as it will entertain those behind you and they will appreciate having to concentrate particularly hard to remember the routine.  Another particularly effective move is to stop suddenly in the middle of a packed aerobics class and watch the domino effect of people bumping in to each other. Everyone finds it hilarious
  10. Never thank the instructor at the end, it will only encourage them and make them feel they have done a worthwhile job which is likely to make them complacent and stop them trying harder.

The title of this post is a Michael Jordan quote


2 Responses to “I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can’t accept not trying”

  1. Lorna Kyle Says:

    I laughed out loud when reading your list.Not being a member of a gym I decided to follow the ‘get fit in 3 minutes a week workout’ which was the subject of a recent tv program.Unfortunately I haven’t managed to find 3 minutes this week but the week commencing 6th August is looking good…….

  2. georgiemcclarke Says:

    Hahahaha I love number 7! Ealing gym is drama-filled! People who put no effort in do my head in as well, and one of my pet hates is when the instructor is trying their hardest to motivate everyone and asks questions like “are you feeling good!” or something to that effect, and they are met with a completely blank face – some people just refuse to interact with them, as if they are just a person on a TV screen rather than right in front of them. In the same vein, love number 10 too xx

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